“Wan! Wannn!!!”Abah screamed with all his might.

I was awaken by this scream. Not knowing what was happening actually, our car started to move like a gliding snake. It was such an unseasy ride. I still couldn’t catch what was happening. Abah pulled the car’s steering without his realization. The next thing I know, our car skidded. It turned upside down. Slided for about 40 meters ahead until it reached the roadside. Thanked God the big drain on the roadside stopped our car from sliding further. When our car stopped, all of us were on top of one another…

I started to scream frantically.I still didn’t know what was happening. All I could remember was that we were chatting happily, recapping things since Abah and Umi were not around to fulfill their pilgrimage. Thinking that tomorrow was a working day, Kakak and I sat on the left and the right side of the car so that we could catch some sleep. Umi was in the middle. Us, my youngest bro on the other hand, sat at the very back of our car, indulging himself into songs from his MP3.

Now were not sitting in our seats. Our feet were not on the car’s carpet. Our car was not moving. We were not chatting happily. And I was not asleep anymore…

I couldn’t stop screaming. Umi yelled “Allahuakbar” in a very weak tone. But where’s Umi??? I shut my eyes and opened them, even wider than before. Now I realized I was on top of Umi.

She was heavily bleeding. My t-shirt got stained by Umi’s blood. Maybe she had knocked herself somewhere when the car turned upside down. Seeing that, I screamed even louder. I heard Abah calling us one by one. I couldn’t stop screaming until Us called me:

“Nyah,nyah! Rileks…rileks k..aku lagi sakit ni. Aku kat bawah korang ni. Jangan panic. Tak ada apa2. Sudah ok”.

Feeling assured by Us’ words, I stopped screaming finally. In between of my feet, I could see Abah was trying to get himself out of the shattered window glass. Then I saw Wan was under my feet. His feet could reach the almost shattered front glass. He broke the glass using one of his feet and tried to get himself out too. With helps from some motorcycle riders who witnessed the accident, Wan tried to get all of us out. I got out first, without my tudung. I didn’t know how come I ended up without my tudung. Maybe the great crash did so. Then Umi got out. She was heavily bleeding. Her nose and her eye were heavily bleeding…I didn’t know what to do..Us didn’t come out from the car. He started searching for our scattered belongings. He tried to move all of Abah and Umi’s luggage out. I sat like an idiot for a while. Deep inside my heart, I told myself: “Get up Didie! Do something!”

I got up. I went to our crashed car and started searching for my tudung and my handbag. Lucky I had put my hand phone back into my handbag after I sent one last sms to Haziq the night before. Unlike Kakak who forgot to zip her handbag, all of her things flew everywhere in the car. I looked for my hand phone. I found it but I can’t switch it on. The battery was flat! Damn it!

I got up and went near Umi.

“ Umi where’s your phone?” I asked.

“Umi tak tau..dalam bag rasanya…” Umi responded in an exhausted tone.

Hearing her tone, I got a little panic. Us and I searched for Umi’s phone. We found it. Tapi aku nak call siapa? My mind was dialing everyone’s faces very rapidly. Cik Milah! I called her.

“Cik Milah! Kami accident! Didie tak tau nak buat apa ni. Umi teruk berdarah…Abah pun sama…didie nak buat apa ni?”

“Ok didie kat mana sekarang?” Cik Milah asked.

One good question. Where am I? I looked for an indicator around the place…Got it!

“Kami kat kilometer 18.9. Opposite road ada exit ke Tuas dan Pontian”

“Ok ok!.Cik Milah datang sana sekarang. Didie sabar k..Cik Milah try call ambulance dengan PLUS …Tunggu sekejap nanti kami sampai..”

“Cik Milah tolong la cepat…umi berdarah…” I pleaded her with a sob.

“Ok! Ok!” She assured me.

Then I started to call other people, including Syereen so that she could call my school to alert them on my absence.

Things happened so fast. Now I know the tragedy happened when Wan tried to avoid one laundry basket which I don’t know until now how it ended up in the middle of the highway. Abah, who always gets panic when his children and wife drive, pulled the steering, which had made Wan lost control of the car. It was nobody’s fault. It was the basket’s fault.

I took a bottle of mineral water and start pouring it on Abah’s face. Searching for a towel in my bag, I wiped the blood came from abah’s injured head. Umi started to have difficulties in breathing. She lied on the grass. I cried and called the ambulance again. My mouth couldn’t stop cursing the ambulance for rescuing us so late.

Now, Abah, Umi and Kakak have got on the ambulance. Umi was brought into the ambulance with the help of a stretcher. Me, on the other hand waited for Cik Milah and Cik Cumi with Wan and Us. Wan hugged me, convincing me to stop crying and that things were going to be all right.

I was brought to Hospital Kulai by Cik Cumi and Cik Midah. Cik Milah on the other hand helped us with the towing thing by the company that insured our car. Soon I reached Hospital Kulai, Cik Cumi and Cik Midah supported my jellyish body to walk. When I proceeded to the emergency room, I saw abah’s head being ‘tailored’ by the doctor. I started to cry until the doctor asked me not to see it. Then I saw Umi, lying so helpless…I should have seated in the middle…I should have seated in the middle…My eyes just couldn’t stop generating tears…I should have seated in the middle…I should have…

This sentence was like a zikir on my mouth. I could not stop asking myself this. Why didn’t I sit in the middle? Why Umi?

I was brought for an X-Ray. I could not stop crying, thinking why I didn’t sit in the middle of the car…Thanked God, I was just an outpatient. The back pain was nothing abnormal..swollen parts, bruises will be there when you involve in an accident. Except Kakak, the doctor detected one crack on the backbone that they decided to keep her under observation.

How time flies, it has been 4 days since the tragedy happened. Obviously it was not a very good way to welcome a new year but things happen for a reason. The incident really has left a mark upon me…it made me think again of the importance to cherish my family members because God has given me a taste of how it feels if I were to lose even only one family member. Thanked God, we may lose our car but we didn’t lose each other in the accident. Thanks to God who gave us lucks so that we could survive. I couldn’t stop thinking what would happen if one of us flew out from the car when the accident happened? What if our car skidded to the opposite lane? What if the roadside was a deep cleft? I can’t imagine what will happen. And even now I couldn’t stop chanting: “I should have seated in the middle” every time I look at Umi’s red-white eye and her ‘very dark circle’.

Each time I remember the terrible sound of screaming tyres and busting glass, the sound when the car’s body kissed the road, I cry of scare.

Maybe this incident was made to happen as a reminder in case I might forget something about Him. It’s true, before it happened, I missed my Subuh thrice in a row because of the lousy alarm clock I had.

So dear friends, this shows that if God says He wants something to happen, it will happen and if we disobey Him, he will not wait for the Hereafter to punish us. He has once put me 5 inches from death as a reminder of His existence but He still loves us. He still loves me. He still wants to give me a chance to do deeds and to amend errors. The incident has taught me well enough about the things I ignore sometimes. I just can’t imagine if He put me one inch from death, I might not be here to share my experience.

Therefore:

• Drive carefully
• Support government’s new policy: Fasten your seatbelt when you are traveling by car
• Don’t forget to cherish your family. You won’t know how long they will live enough for you to cherish them
• Neighbours and friends are important to share happiness and sadness. They were the biggest help to us when the accident happened.
• And don’t sleep in the car so that you don’t end up like a crazy woman when untoward things happen.
• Remember He is always there to watch us, to reward us, to remind us, and to punish us for everything that we do in His world.

Till then.

Yesterday was a Sunday and somehow an incident has provoked my thinking that I feel I should write about it.

Kakak baked some cakes yesterday. This was because; there were so many neighbours’ plates and bowls in our kitchen due to their sense of neighbourhoodness, giving us food on the Raya Haji morning. Following a simple culture of Malay that it’s not good to return people’s plates or bowls without filling them with something, Kakak decided that the easiest way out was to bake a cake.(Umi is not here to cook, and we on the other hand, feel our cooking is too ‘great’ for other people’s consumption..hihi!!!) Therefore, Kakak baked two cakes, for the neighbours and for us..hehe…

So, the baking thing only ended at night. Before Kakak went upstairs, she reminded me to put the cakes somewhere covered and safe. So I placed them on our kitchen table. But I forgot that our kitchen table is actually not safe. We don’t usually put food on the kitchen table more than an hour because ants like to climb it and have a taste of our food. I only realized this before I went to sleep.

Hurriedly, I dashed off for the kitchen but surprisingly, the cakes were still in the condition when I left them earlier. Untouched, by human or by ants. So it made me think: Maybe ants too, don’t work on Sundays?

Hihi! Just a thought from my wondering mind.

Till then.

This is a phrase let out by my friend, Hazlim. I was rather captured by this sentence that I decided to write about it.

Let me start with what happened recently. The Ministry of Education implemented PPSMI (Pengajaran dan Pembelajaran Sains dan Matematik dalam Bahasa Inggeris, if I get this correct) some six years ago, in aiding students to acquire English better for competency purposes. So, the future teachers at that time, including me, were being prepared to face this new trend in education. We were shaped and trained to be an English teacher and a Maths/Science teacher at the same time. See, the world has changed, if back then people believe that language and Maths are two different fields that both can’t be acquired successfully, simultaneously. Some even said, Maths and Science are for boys and languages are for girls. Now our education system has proven this wrong. The language teacher can also become the Maths teacher. Boys and girls are proven to be arithmatically and linguistically intelligent at the same time too. However after six years of implementing this new aspiration, I think our education system has started to smell its failure. This year, they had come to a decision by which, if improvements are not seen in students’ performance regarding these two subjects, they are going to revert the medium into Malay Language, again, next year.

The first question came to my mind upon knowing this:

WHAT THE HECK???

The second question:

What’s going to happen to the remainder 5 cohorts which have not graduated yet, but are being prepared to teach Maths and Science in English?

I myself do not get to teach Mathematics in English yet, although my second option has allowed me too. And now they are changing it again! Mana aku tak membebel?? This makes me wonder about  the efficiency of the education system. Don’t the BPG and the exam syndicate or whatsoever communicate among themselves? Some schools have even distributed text books to be used next year. So are they going to throw all the books and wait for the new ones and by that time, asking teachers to modify pupils’ minds to suit the decision comes from the brains of the MOE people? I’m so glad I was born 24 years ago.

For me, this idea is ridiculous and thanked God it will not happen as percentage increase has resulted in student’ performance this year. Yeah, although it is not so vivid, it proves to be adequate enough to make a hindrance from a new phenomenon to arise. Pity the students who are at stake when this happens. You see, Malaysia has used Bahasa Melayu as the medium of teaching and learning Mathematics and happened to involve too, Science and Alam dan Manusia for more than 30 years before its conversion. And we should not forget, we still have teachers who have been teaching more than 20 years in our system. A year of preparation will not be enough to change their 20 years’ butter and bread. A drastic transformation involved in their career will bring a lot of differences that they have to face. I’m not saying that failures come from the teachers 100% but we contribute a lot for that too. Our education system should give the teachers opportunities to develop themselves in teaching using English after they have got used to teach in Malay. 6 years will not be enough to prove anything. And we should not be expecting a sudden change in pupil’s performance. Only time will tell whether the decision our education system has made is the right one, but no pain, no gain man. It’s time for them to realize again that lives involve a lot of gambling.

Academicians agree that teaching must be in a language that teachers are comfortable with and have confidence in using it. So to make the teachers comfortable and to gain confidence in using English needs time. The pupils too, on the other hand need a lot of time to adjust themselves to learning using English as Malaysians are the second users of English, and in some cases, English might be totally foreign to them.

I just hope we could be given a little more time to measure the effectiveness of this major decision our education system has dared to make 6 years back. Hold on a little longer and I’m sure rainbows will appear in the midst of the turmoil.

Better stop now before I get sacked for not being in favor of the government! Hehe…

Message to dear Hazlim:

You are a risk taker as far as I know. Don’t lose that, even thousands of problems fall onto your head. Good Luck!

A story from One woman standing

November 2008

When I got to know that I will be sent to a Chinese school, I freaked out. I told Miss Amyzar that it’s a pity for I will not get the opportunity to teach my ‘own people’. But she said: Teaching is still teaching regardless who you teach. So, I eased myself that I would get a new experience and that I can continue using English just how I used to want. So on the 1st of August, I went to report duty…and there I was in a school called SJK(C) Chee Tong, located some 15 minutes from home…This school is not bad. Facilities are more than adequate. Teachers are very welcoming. GB and GPK are ok. This school even owns a GYM! What are they going to use this for? I was rather excited till I forgot to ask the GB one essential question: What was the proficiency level of the pupils in the school? But after a briefing from the head of English panel, I got the idea that English might not be so important to these students as limited time were allocated for English subjects; 2 periods for level 1 and 4 periods for level 2. I started to feel queasy about this. I started to ask myself how can I finish the syllabus when so little time are given to me? But still being the usual positive me, I told myself: It’s ok…things are not going to be that hard. Anyway I always envisaged that pupils in SJK(C) were rather hardworking and they were brilliant kids.

But what I could tell you now is that, first impression and blind perception might sometimes be wrong. This is the moral of the story number one. My perception now towards this school has totally changed especially of the pupils. I thought with the learning culture cultivated in a Chinese school, pupils are more focused and determined towards their success. No, they are still normal kids, playful. They will wait until they are asked to take out their books. They could not find their own papers if they don’t bring books unless they were asked to. They will not go and share textbooks with their friends if they don’t bring thiers. Those initiatives are very hard to find from them. Not like us in our younger days I guessed.

Being the only Malay woman standing in that school is rather tough and challenging as it sounds. As the pupils in this school have got used to Chinese teachers being around them, they find it difficult adjusting themselves to me even though there are 3 other Malay male teachers as my companions. Respects are very hard to gain from them. I could still remember during my practicum, my friends who went to the same school as me always said that I’m stern and pupils respect me. But now? I’m a small ant to the pupils’ eyes. I find it difficult to be closed to them. I tried hard to build a rapport between myself and the pupils but somehow barriers still exist. Maybe the language barrier is the thickest and highest among all. Until now I still can’t believe that out of 40 pupils in a class, only 10 or less that 10 could understand Malay and English. The rest, they can’t even understand simple expression like ‘Hand in your book to me’ or ‘Paste the paper in your book’, ‘Take your chair and come here’. If I let out these expressions without any gestures to accompany, those who don’t understand me will give me a simple cue; they will turn to the friend sitting next to them and asked : “Lau Shi chiang samo?” I had a very hard time communicating with them. 3 months I had to swallow the tired and sad feeling for not being able to convey the message that I intended to. But this month, I cried finally. I cried to Fatihah. But it’s relieving you see! Seriously it was. So, moral of the story number two: letting the uneasy feeling off your chest will make you feel better..haha!

But looking on the flipside of the book, there are benefits behind all that happened. Once I was afraid that I will lose my English when I got posted or to be exact, to get posted to a rural school, whereby English is being used one-way and during English period only. Now I am no longer worried because I have no other options than to use English to the fullest with the teachers and the pupils most of all because that’s the only language to communicate with them since they don’t understand Malay and I don’t understand Mandarin. Moreover I am an English teacher in that school. Code switching will only make things worse for them. So my usage of English has expanded beyond the English classroom circle. I use English during my Physical Education class, my music class, my netball training, during ‘gotong royong’ and even when I am on duty standing behind the gate looking after the pupils every Monday morning and afternoon. Day by day, I am more serious into looking for materials to be exploited in the clasroom. I would think hard to simplify whatever that is hard. I had to do homework, research and much reading. As my words can’t rescue me when I am teaching them, I had to use a lot of pictures, realia and ICT resources so that they could understand and become more interested. I also had to rely very much on hands-on activities. For example is when I’m teaching Science (Moral of the story number 3: You may not get your teaching option when you get posted!). In order to make them understand a concept, I had no choice than implementing all the experiments just to make sure that they understand because if I talk about a concept for half an hour, they might end up chatting and dozing off in my class!

The teachers too could be pain relieving most of the time. Even though we are different in race and religion, they act professionally and helped me as much as they can. Up till now, there are no single things that I asked help from them that they refused to help me. No office politics. They concentrate on their works, submit duty on time and do things systematically. When I got a little frustrated with the pupils, thinking of them could sometimes make me feel better.

So, moral of the story number four, we have two choices in our lives; either to be sad or to be happy. Thinking about how sad it can be when pupils don’t understand you will bring you no where. So, stop thinking! Try by all means to tackle this problem as Daus once said to me, An educator is the person who makes difficult things easy. So, the ease and the difficulties come from us. Just enjoy what you do. When you feel sad, think of something else that can make you feel happy. Insyaallah, your days will be brighter and this idea will always come to mind: TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER.

But, sometimes and maybe…

How should I start? Actually the reason I wrote this short blog was because I am feeling rather happy now and the only reason this cheerful feeling emerged was because I received a call from my best friend two days ago. And somehow, it really rejuvenates our friendship that seemed to be drifting apart at one point.

Before this, I was wondering, why did I feel like he was trying hard to keep himself away from me? I tried to figure out what I had done him wrong. But I failed. Something just smelled so wrong to me. If back then, we could send and reply up to 20 sms-es, now 5 sms-es would be more than enough, because if we sent beyond that number, we would end up fighting, or to be precisely, I would end up getting mad with him. I don’t know why do sometimes I feel like he’s being ignorant towards me and some speeches of his can really hurt me. I understand he just wanted me to get real, like how he always used to want. But sometimes my heart just couldn’t take it. But the best thing is, when I’m mad, a little saying of ‘how are you?’ the next day can really cure my frustration. I guess that is why I call him my bestfriend.

However mad I am towards him, he never fails to be my sounding board. He’s the kind of person who listens more than talks. Usually, when we chat, I do almost 80 percent of the talk, while he does more on the listening part. He has been an attentive listener for all my ups and downs. I tried to be his sounding board, but maybe I‘m not the right person for him to share his problem. That is why I consider him a problem-free person because I could hardly hear him sighing. Usually, I’m the one who pops up with a problem, not him. Well maybe that is what I call two-ways communication in my own definition.

Nevertheless, I feel at one point of our life now, our friendship seemed to be sombre. I don’t know, maybe because he is now too busy with work and I ‘m rather free at the moment unlike before that I take matters when he doesn’t bother about me. Or the fact that he is someone else’s makes him hold back a little. But two days ago was my lucky day I told him. I just texted him to enquire something about vcd but he makes a return to my enquiry by giving me a call. And I was shocked, seriously! Yeah, before this I was the one who made all the phone callings because I was the one who needed listening ears. But that day he called me and I am so glad, until now. We chatted for almost one hour, and we laughed, and we talked our hearts out and we shared stories and I smile, until now. I just hope that the phone call could be the starting point for us to get back to normal again.

If he happens to read this post, I just want to say a thousand thanks for making my whole week. I just want to say I’m sorry for always kicking up a fuss for every small little thing that would seem wrong to me. I just want to aplogize for being sharp sometimes. I just want to say that I am here if he needs me as a friend. I just want him to know that however mad I am to him, his simple ‘how are you’ would always bring a smile back to my lips. And I just want him to know, that however ignorant he might be towards me, I will always love him because I may not be his bestfriend but he will always be my bestfriend.

In just a blink of an eye, my final semester had come to its end. Sad but true. I can’t believe that I finally can let go of my title as a student, hmm..still can’t believe it. But to be honest, among all, this semester was the one full of drama, chaos, love, friendship and many things more.

Maybe everybody was so tired and stressed out with never-ending assignments and eveyone was trying so hard to reach UM’s benchmark that the word ‘attitude’ and ‘issue’ had become so familiar with us. Those who had never become a problem started to create one. Friendship seemed to be drifting apart. Making foes was a lot easier than making friends. Crying was a lot easier to be heard of than laughter (Except for Vilo’s..hehe…)Backstabbing and mocking too, had been a part of this semester. A decent discussion of trips and dinner could never be held in a tranquil manner. I could not figure out why but those were what really happened. Conversely, my love for them did not drain even a bit by these situations.

But having to say all these, I feel glad that finally I was able to enjoy myself as
Ummians. I got myself familiar with UM environment this semester, being friends with other students of other facs and I went jogging a lot in UM too, yeah, once I followed my friend for a jog or more precisely a cross country in UM. Fuhh..that was one experience that I will not forget. Yeah, I really had feeble legs for three days after that! Apart from these, we participated actively in UM events. Watching Mak Yong, Dikir Barat, Battle of The Band were not included in our to do list before this, but they were in this semester.We even held events in UM, which was the ICT showcase. We took part in Dikir Barat for Ko-k week, which was so rocking us. I feel grateful that we enrolled in Dikir Barat course because it really acted as a pain reliever after one week straining ourselves with other demanding subjects. Blimey now I feel that everything was too late to be realized. I think I hadn’t exploited UM to the fullest when I was its student. But then I got to know some good friends throughout this semester. Somehow I could get along with them very well despite the fact that we came from two different worlds. And I also noticed that the friend that I cherished so much for this past years had the heart to stab my back, which I didn’t know until now the reason she was doing whatever she did. Till now I could not figure out what wrong I had done to her. But if she happens to read this writing, I just want to say I’m sorry if  ever I had offended her in any ways even though I think she owes me 1001 explanations.

Hectic lives were the kind that we live this semester, before and after exam. If before exam we had to struggle to complete our assignments, after exam we got too busy visiting places which we didn’t get the chance to visit before. Looks like having been to study in KL for six years were not enough to enable us to visit its places of interest. Attending open houses too, kept us occupied. I
got the chance to have a walk in India Town with Vilo and friends, play bowling with Aini and Fendi, go to the zoo with Ming Keat, Siha and Jane, shop in Jln TAR with Nurul and Esun for the last time, one day out with Daus to groom ourselves for the farewell dinner and take pics in KLCC during night with Aisyah and my gang. Those were really sad moments indeed. Honestly, I felt really sad to part from my friends from now on. 6 years had proven them to be of valuable treasure in my heart. They are the ones who could go through thick and thin with me. Thousand apology from me guys and thanks for being such wonderful people in my life. However I still couldn’t get the chance to meet many of my friends in KL before I came back to JB for good. I just hope someday we will meet again.

Bak kata Jarrod once: Carpedium, which means seize the day. So for all out there, treasure whatever you have now. You may be a little too late when you finally realize that you haven’t treasured what you have to the fullest when it is about time to let go.

TO my UNISEL Friends: Although our moment together lasted for only three weeks, we still stick together like we have known each other in our previous lives. Seriously you guys have left a meaningful mark upon my life path. I just feel grateful that I gain the chance to know all of you. Will always love you lot a lot.

To all my friends in Cohort One: Thanks a million! Having to learn beside all of you will be the one experience I will never ever banish from my mind.

Recently I had been a counselor for my two friends. They were about to make a choice that will change their lives. Well, both were about the same nature, job opportunities. They had difficulties of choosing what is best for them. So I gave them some opinions in a hope that it might be a little help for them to come to the wisest decision.

One of them had asked for my opinion whether she should go into teaching profession since she has been offered a place to settle down for DPLI course in UTM. She said that it has been her dream since her childhood to become a lecturer and this could be the right path and the first step to attain her dream. It is also her mum’s hope that one of her children could become a teacher. But the problem that she faces is that she had received two spectacular offers from two major companies here in JB. The offered salary I could say is totally a vast difference if she were to be a teacher. So, she really had difficulties in choosing what is best for her. Both choices have their own strengths and weaknesses. There are things to be sacrificed for choosing any of them. Bak kata orang Melayu: Ditelan mati mak, diluah mati bapak. But having to read quite a motivational article recently, I started with a simple answer. I told her, “Doing things that I like is the reason I get out of bed every morning.”

Just imagine, if tomorrow you have a date with your loving boyfriend or girlfriend, would you rather feel excited and counting hours to reach tomorrow? Surely, you will be motivated to wake up the next morning and start your day with a smile to ears. But let’s say tomorrow, early in the morning, you are going to a class, which you hate most because of its lousy content or lousy lecturer, will you be motivated to get out of bed? I think most people would feel so lazy to start their days. They mind end up getting up on the wrong side of the bed.

For me, doing things that I like is a motivation for me to get out of my bed, fold my blanket and set off to work. Imagine if you know that everyday you are doing something that you totally have no interest in, would you want to get out of bed? Would you even want to open your eyes the moment your alarm clock rings? Would you do your work wholeheartedly? Would you perform well? I asked these questions to myself quite umpteen times. These questions really reflected me during my practicum session. And it really seconds my first sentence of advice I had given to this particular friend of mine. When I was in my practicum session for three months, I couldn’t imagine how tired I was with the works that I needed to complete everyday, right from school administration work, lesson plans, classroom activities, daily reflection, and all that it takes when you call yourself a teacher. And I am also quite a person who is so lazy to get out of bed and hard to be got out of bed when I’m feeling rather tired. But still as I had known that I was going to do something new everyday, I woke up easily without giving my Nurul a hard time to wake me up..hehe..(Nurul please agree with me!), I prepared myself and set off to work with my friends. Although it had been quite tensioning having to deal with school and kids, I love what I was doing so I managed to change all the problems and queasy feelings into something positive, something that can change me to become a better person and to make me become more matured.

When we do something that we like, we will see that the world is an interesting place to live in so I hope my two friends here will end up doing something that they like so that they will feel what my friend Esun always says “Hidup ini indah!!!

I am King Midas,

I am greedy,

I lost my little darling,

Let me tell you my story.

I am rich,

But I wanted more gold,

I met a man,

A man that was old,

He granted my wish,

With his magic wand,

He touched my hand

And told:

“Now everything you touch
will turn into gold.”

I got back home,

I was very happy,

As everything I touched,

Gold they would turn to be.

But I couldn’t eat,

The food became gold,

So I called my little darling,

She touched my hand!

She turned into gold!

I hate myself for being greedy,

I lost my little darling,

This is my story.

Lately
I have been thinking
About those days,
When smile and happiness rhymed,
When sadness and gloom were enemies,
When sounds were all seemed like songs,
Easy to feel,
Pleasant to hear.

Swiftly,
Smiles and happiness did not rhyme anymore,
Sadness and gloom became friends,
Songs would easily cause tears to fall,
Without an unnoticeable reason,
Or perhaps reasons.

But now things have changed,
For better
People just won’t understand
That sometimes things don’t work the way we want,
Sometimes ruthless decision in present will bring kismet in future

People just won’t accept that.

But as long as I know the real truth,
I’m glad I have made a decision,
I’m glad I was able to make a decision,
I’m glad I was brave enough to make a decision.

For all the things I have done to you in the past,
1000 words are not enough to make up a single sorry.
Although it is hard to chew,
Bitter to swallow,
Still I’m so sorry.
For every misery I have caused you,
I am sorry.

Maybe for some of you, when read of this word, you will think about the root of a plant or maybe a glass of A&W rootbeer..hehe..but those are not what I am going to write about. It is about my root.

Before this, I proudly said to people who were keen to know about my background, that I am half Minang and half Bughese. But I know nothing about these two different clans. Yeah..my father is a Bughese but he can’t utter a word of Bughese. Even his family was like discarding anything about Bughese from their lives, which I can’t explain here the reason why. My mother is a Minangkabau. Better than my father, at least she can speak a little Minang with my relatives on my maternal side. But during this semester holiday, I have got an opportunity to learn more about half of my root, Minangkabau. Yes, I went to the place where this clan is originated. I went to  Padang and Bukit Tinggi, Indonesia.

I went there with my sister and two cousins from Seremban. I can say they were a big help to me and my sister as they have been to those places before. They even have some foster families there, which have helped us with accommodation and traveling. Yeah..only now I know that in Negeri Sembilan, that will be their event of the year to hold a student exchange programme with secondary school kids from Bukit Tinggi. And that answered why my cousins have some foster families there.

Soon as we reached Minangkabau Airport in Padang, we were brought to so many interesting places on our way to Bukit Tinggi. We went to their famous waterfall, Pusat Dokumestasi Minangkabau, which I found a picture of my great5x grandfather, perkampungan Pandai Sikek, which is renowned by their fine sulaman and ukiran and we went to a famous restaurant which serves Nasi Padang. I became so ‘jakun’ because at that time only I knew that dishes are served without us ordering. Only dishes that are touched will be charged. Simple hah..hehe.. but during my stay, I ate loads of food..food that I will not take here in Malaysia. I became more like an exotic food eater..hehe..from ikan nila to buffalo meat to satay Padang and even Bakso. Those were nice experiences indeed..huhu!

Then, I even got the chance to witness Minangkabau wedding. We were brought by Pak Hasrat on the very first evening we were in Bukit Tinggi. At least I know now how wedding reception is being done by this clan…delicious rendang, cakes, colourful dais, and you now something, the bride and the groom are needed to be on the dais all day long, so long the reception is still on. Can you imagine how tired they will be?

Anyway, the second day was the full swing day to shop. We got no enough time to go from one shop to another to survey for prices or what not. We grabbed and go only. Tawarlah the price bagai nak giler dekat kedai yang kitorang pergi tu. But I really admire the sulaman there..so fine and teliti…had I enough time, I would spend the whole day admiring all the kebayas in all shops..hehe..

Anyhow, there were still some interesting places that we couldn’t go due to time constraint and their own nature problems. Yeah like Istana Pagar Ruyong and Lubang Jepun, we can’t visit those places due to the fire and earthquake they had earlier on.

Well I can say things are cheap there..compared to prices in Malaysia. For example in Padang, my sister went to a saloon to wash and cut her hair as well as to massage. So, boring waiting for her. I cut my hair too. Can you imagine I cut my hair for only RM4.80? I don’t think we can get such price here. Foods also are cheap there. And I even learned new Minangkabau vocabs too. Before this I only knew words like den(me), mamak(uncle) and nakdo (dun have) to name a few. So now my Minang vocabulary has expended a bit. I learnt words like uni(auntie), dima(where), rancak (good), bara(how much) and kaliki(papaya). I learnt those words when I brought things and even from my cousins’ foster families.

I can say, my vacation this time around was full with so many unforgettable experiences. There were so many interesting places which I haven’t mentioned yet. At least now, I know bits of information about my root. So my advice, if you guys have some spare money and wish to go on a vacation, Bukit Tinggi and
Padang  should be made under your consideration..hehe..till then..